How many times have you left a massage session unhappy because the therapist didn't listen to you? It's important to find a therapist you can talk to, but sometimes it's a matter of learning how to talk to them so they understand what you really want. I've worked on a few thousand bodies by now, and I can tell you it's not always easy to interpret what a client is trying to tell me. One person says "ouch, that hurts" and it means "stop;" another says "ouch" and it means "that hurts so good, don't stop." That's one reason I spend time getting to know my clients and talking before each session, but even under the best of circumstances, misunderstandings happen.
So here's a short guide to common misunderstandings between client and massage therapist and advice for how to ensure you have the best chance of getting what you want.
Scenario One:
The therapist is working too hard and you want them to stop or lighten up.
Say to your massage therapist, "That's too much, lighten up," or "Please move on to another area; that's all I can take right there," or as one client said to me recently, "I like a 5 and that's an 8." Be clear; don't assume saying "ouch" is going to get your point across.
Scenario Two:
You want your therapist to give special attention to one or two areas of concern, but you also want a full body massage.
Say "I want a full body massage but please spend a little extra time on my upper back and neck," for example. If a therapist takes the lead and asks if you would like them to focus on a specific concern, be clear that you want the full body as well as that area or some therapists will assume it's okay to work only on those areas of concern.
Scenario Three:
You don't want a full body massage. Instead you want the whole session spent on specific areas of concern.
Say "Please skip my legs and my face. I only want you to work on my back, neck, and arms," for example.
It doesn't hurt your therapist's feelings for you to respectfully tell them what you need (and if it does, perhaps you should find another therapist). In fact, it makes our job so much easier. And sometimes a therapist just isn't qualified to provide what you want, or it's not their specialty, and in that case they should be able to refer you to someone who can give you what you need and want.
Sometimes I hear client's complain about a therapist who insisted they knew what the client needed, despite what the client asked for. And sometimes, it's true that a therapist might have more insight because of their training and experience... BUT the bottom line is, it's your body and you have the final say about what feels appropriate for you. So don't give away your power. Be proactive, ask questions, find a good balance of ideas, be open to suggestions, and develop a good rapport, or look for another therapist whom you can trust and talk to more easily.
